Not everything is love and light.
We all go through hard times. Part of growing up is taking the hard hits, ones you never deserved, and trying to understand why. Recovery is not a straight line. Many of us deal with pain in unconventional ways, but know this:
There is no WRONG way.
You are the person you are today, regardless of what you may have done to yourself, regardless of what others may have done to you. Take a moment and appreciate your pitfalls; give them the same love as your triumphs.